Thomas Kerr

"Buddy Checks" and why they are vitally important

Wednesday 1st May 2024

"How are you doing?"

It seems like such an innocuous greeting, overused and overlooked. We often ask it without a thought towards listening for an answer- just a way to say "hello". 

I urge you, if necessary, to add a second "No, really- How's it going?" AND LISTEN to the answer. Connect with a friend, and really get beyond surface level banter. 

You might be surprised to hear the real answer. So many of us as gentlemen are predisposed to answer with a cursory "i'm good"- often masking feelings of stress or loneliness. 

On the flip side, if your buddy is really doing well and excited about something going on, you get to participate in thier joy, and vicariously pick up that positive energy! 

Having battled with both depression and acute anxiety myself, I know how lonely it can feel when no one else seems to understand why you are sipping your own adrenaline constantly, only to fall into depression when exhaustion sets in. The only answer you seem to get when you open up a little is "It's all in your head" or "chill out", and you feel like you are the only one who feels this way. 

The "buddy check" literally can save a life with just a heartfelt inquiry and a few minutes of genuine attention. 

I've been blessed with a solid group of friends and family for a support system, and they continue to support me along with professional support such as medication and counceling. 

That's one of the reasons I ride with the DGR, both to give and be given support by others who share my love for motorcycles and dapper dress. This is a unique opportunity to connect with not only riders in our area, but riders all over the planet, and remove some of the stigma of seeking help, which may ultimately start with a simple

"How's it going?"

-Stay dapper, 

Thomas

 

Why I wear the tie...

Monday 15th Apr 2024

I've been asked why I dress dapper on random days, without a "proper" reason to get all dolled up with nowhere to go, as the common phrase goes.

My answer- usually with tongue planted firmly in cheek- is "it's (insert whatever day if the week it happens to be here)".

Naturally this propensity lent well, along with my love of motorcycles, to getting involved with the Distinguished Gentleman's Ride. You mean I get to put on my finest tweed and bow tie and ride bikes? Yes, please!

 Upon further examination however, it goes a bit deeper than that. I used to have a single dark suit- the one I got married in. You know, the "one suit for all occasions", be it a wedding, a funeral, or a court appearance- never removed from its garment bag otherwise. 

I also inherited my Great Grandmother's china and silverware, all carefully archived in boxes in the attic to be preserved for the next generation.

  We tend to hide away the most precious things, using them only for special occasions or company, reserving them for select times. Nothing wrong with that- but after having lived over 50 years and seen days evaporate with ever-increasing rapidity, i've landed on a philosophy that has changed my life for the better.

Wear the tie. Use the fine bone china, and the silverware. Because its Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Whatever. 

For one, in the wake of the separation and isolation we've endured recently- it's a fantastic form of self care. You just FEEL better when you take the time to look your best, and set a formal table just because you have the time. 

In a comfort oriented world, formality is seen as a burden- but I urge you- wear the tie. It makes you stand a little taller, act a little kinder, and you WILL recieve compliments. As a bonus, I wear a tartan tie in my family's tartan- and it gives me a sense of heritage and connection to the past.

Connection is what we crave these days, even with information and connectivity in the form of the internet. Personal connection. 

Enter the Distinguished Gentleman's ride, and our motto for this year: Riding Side By Side, Worldwide.

Wear the tie. Use the china. Ride the bike. Forge new relationships. That's why I wear the tie.

Ride Dapper-

Thomas

 

New year, new ride, new host!

Thursday 21st Mar 2024

Hello Gentlefolk- it is my supreme pleasure and honor to be able to co-host the DGR here in Tahoe, CA along with my bride and co-pilot Dawn Kerr. A few things about us- we are ardent VW enthusiasts and have organized car events for a while now. This is our first foray into motorcycles, and it seems a natural fit given the similarities. I also enjoy dressing dapper, particularly Scottish Highland Dress, but given kilted motorcycling is a bit tricky, this is the next best thing! If you come to Tahoe, do look for us on our black Triumph Thruxton sidecar rig, and come say hello! 

Ride Dapper,

Thomas Kerr

I'm Riding for Men's Health in The Distinguished Gentleman's Ride

Thursday 21st Mar 2024 On Sunday the 19th of May 2024, I'm riding in The Distinguished Gentleman's Ride with fellow men and women across the globe to raise funds and awareness for prostate cancer and men's mental health on behalf of Movember. Men die on average 6 years earlier than women and for largely preventable reasons. The number of men that are suffering is growing, and we need to do something about that. So, before I press my tweed and polish my boots, I'm asking you to join me in raising funds and awareness for these causes by donating what you can for this meaningful cause and to help the men we love, live happier and healthier lives.