Julian Lefebvre

Hindsight is a wonderful thing

If only we knew. Right? News comes as a shock sometimes and its inevitable to wish we had done things differently 

Often we react to situations after they've happened and that's OK. We're all busy and have enough on our own plates to deal with never mind someone else's situation.

Life is for living. Life is short. Be thankful for what you have. Be kind to yourself and remember every day is a holiday.

Ride with me in spirit or in person...but please please please....be in the moment. Who knows what's going to happen? In 100 years who's going to give a fuck anyway.

Thank you to everyone who has given so generously. I do this because I wish I had done things differently in the past. Maybe my best mate would be riding with me if I had. He used to love riding motorcycles. His demons got the better of him so I often ride with one finger up at those demons.

Bless you all. Riding is good for the soul. If you haven't tried it, give it a go. 

Even more real

OK....since signing up, news came in about a really clever and hard working guy.... who had an amazing career, an awesome family, the respect of his peers and everything you could hope for and in his mid fifties...at a point where you would think most blokes would sit back and say "I've done it, yay me"....he decides to hang himself. He told close colleagues he would never do that to his kids (because he became depressed and his mates were looking out for him and asked if he was thinking of killing himself) yet it was his 16 year old daughter that found him hanging. He was admitted to hospital but couldn't be saved. Imagine how his daughter will be from now on...never mind the rest of his family and friends. It's just wrong

A man with a successful career, a loving family, a choice of whatever he wanted from the menu....gone by choice. Why?

The sad reality is the biggest stereotype in the world never gets talked about

...like most men, his story will never be heard. Its the same year in year out. Blokes are not heard. They suffer in silence. There's no international men's day. There's no celebration of being a man. Theres only the stereotype of men being strong and the expectation that a man is only a man if he's able to provide. 

It's as abhorrent as the stereotype of a woman minding her place by looking after the home. 

If you're one of those people who think guys are OK because they seem happy, think again. 

Give generously...you're not going to change this stereotype on your own. We need help to build an army...not to defeat the opposition but to defend ourselves. Men need help. Sounds weird but it's true

Why? Because we're worth it

Its real, its happening and we all need to talk about it

In the last year, I've encountered a number of guys who have either been diagnosed with prostate cancer and had treatment or are in the process of getting treatment. From the stories I'm being told, its not something I would want to wish on anyone. I know a lot of effort goes into supporting women but seriously, not enough is being done to support men dealing with cancer. I hope I can count on you to make a difference 

In the same period of time, I've seen some close friends go through some really tough times and now more than ever, I strongly believe that us blokes need to get better at telling people we love and trust, how we're feeling before we go and do something stupid. I know blokes who wish they hadn't done what they've done, because in hindsight - after having talked to someone about how they're feeling, they realise they could have approached the situation differently and not caused so much pain and heartache. There is a better way and we all need to be part of the change.  

Here's some signs that will help you understand if a man is broken

- he will isolate himself, especially from people who love him

- he works more than he speaks

- he always feels drained and exhausted no matter how much sleep he gets

- he gets overly stressed, frustrated and irritated easily

- he will lose interest in a lot of things that he used to really enjoy unless its riding or driving really fast

- he will get stuck in his own head and overthink things, often leading to him shutting down when he's depressed

But if you were to ask him how he is doing, his response will always be "I'm OK" or "I'm good" even though that's the furthest thing from the truth

He does this because he cares more about others than he does for himself and he doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. He would rather suffer in silence whilst he helps them overcome their pain than ever ask for help getting through his own

So I hope you'll all help me make a difference in some blokes lives. 

Why? Because we're worth it!